NPR, the creators of the 'This I Believe' dialogue, defines the project as "an international organization engaging people in writing and sharing essays describing the core values that guide their daily lives." In my essay and recording below, I hope to communicate my values that really shape who I am. This is definitely the most personal project in RCL, so I hope you enjoy reading and listening to my thoughts on "Grace."

Like any other child, I learned what was ‘good’ and ‘bad’ at a young age. The innumerable times I have lied, been angry, or fought with my parents is testament to my apprehension to being the good child (my older sister already had that position locked up). I screw up still to this day, after 18 years of practice. I believe we all do, however, more importantly to me, I believe in grace.

The first time I remember doing something stupid was when I about 3. I remember taking some crayons up to my room. My dog, Lucy, gave me a look that said “Don’t do what you’re about to do.” I proceeded to draw on the nice, newly painted, white walls in my room. After twenty minutes or so, my mother walked in. Shocked at what I had done, she asked me what happened. I sheepishly replied, “My thinks Lucy did it.” (I wish I could make that up.) I distinctly remember my mom telling me she was going to show grace and forgive me. The next hour was spent scrubbing the walls with her.

One summer, I got in a fight with my sister the night before I was supposed to go to Maine with my church. I can’t even remember the topic of our brawl. My father was upstairs, sick and asleep, but not for long. I knew when he came down, it wouldn’t be good for me or my sister. I was wrong. My sister was fine; I, on the other hand, was unable to go to Maine. How can there be grace in this? Grace, to me, isn’t the ability to do whatever you want and be fine.

As a Christian, I was taught that Jesus died for our sins, so that we would not have to suffer. Ephesians 1:7 tells me that “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” Many churches define grace as the unmerited love from God.  After learning this, I see how my mother showed grace when I drew on the walls, and how my father was still showing grace by keeping me home that week. It wasn’t about being able to get away with everything, but about being loved regardless of the magnitude or quantity of our screw-ups. I find my happiness in knowing that if and when I screw up in life, I am still loved. This is the power of grace.